What is a Friend?
I am sure there is a time in your life when you have asked yourself, is she/he really a friend, or should I just say they are simply one of my associates?
How do we define true friendship, and is it really normal to have many true friends? It is hard to really believe after looking at this through the lens of scripture that we have many true friends.
Scripture has a lot to say about what a friend is and we will take a look at some of them in this devotional to give us a better understanding of friendship.
The scripture says that when you have unreliable friends the relationship will soon come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother/sister - Proverbs 18:24. So we need reliable friends in our life that we can depend on to help get us through life. Ask yourself, who in your life can you truly rely on when you are in a time of trouble? That is possibly who you can call a friend.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity - Proverbs 17:17. Therefore, real friends do not love you one day and hate you the next, or are in competition with you as sometimes seen with siblings. That was never a true friend, only a temporary relationship that worked for that season in your life.
Yahusha said it perfectly, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” - John 15:12-13. We were commanded to love, and we must understand what true love for one another really is about. Can you say that you have a friend that will lay down their life for you? If the answer is yes, then that is your friend according to the Master. Hold tight to that person, and never let them go, since they are like a diamond in the rough!
My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to Yahuah; on behalf of a man he pleads with Yah as one pleads for a friend - Job 16:20-21. Friends will plead before Yahuah for you, whatever the situation may be, they are willing to go in intercessory prayer for you so that you will have victory in your situation.
When Job prayed for his friends, Yahuah restored his fortunes, giving him twice as much as before - Job 42:10. So you see here, friends not only pray for you when they are in good standing with you, but they will pray for you even when you bring false accusations against them. And like Job, your losses can be restored.
Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel - Proverbs 27:9. Friendships are based on encouragement, respect, trust, and wise counsel to each other, without either party holding what the other says in a correction/rebuke, reproof, against them, when it is given in a spirit of love and understanding that it is not meant for evil but only for success.
Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers/sisters dwell in unity! - Psalms 133:1. Unity does not always mean we have to be in full agreement about every situation we encounter in life, but it means that we can agree that we disagree, and move forward, never allowing it to affect the sister-hood that we say we have with each other.
Friends as stated above, are there to encourage you when you are going through a rough patch in life. Without the love and encouragement of a good friend, we can lose hope quickly, and decide life is not even worth living. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says we are to build up one another. So if you have a person in your life and you call them a friend, and they are not encouraging you or building you up in love, then you may need to rethink that relationship.
The book of Romans 12 speaks about how we are to love one another. Read it to get a good understanding concerning relationships. Specifically beginning at verse 10, we are to show affection to one another with sisterly love, honoring one another. Also, as written in Romans 12, we have an obligation to our sisters and brothers to love those in the faith, and not to envy one another for their particular gift, as we all have a gift that the Most High has given to all who believe in Him. We are not to be jealous of the gifts that our friends have that we do not have. We should on the contrary celebrate them.
A true friend forgives as written and instructed in Colossians 3:13, we are to bear each other and forgive one another, if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as Yahuah forgave you. Yah has forgiven us, and he continues to forgive when we truly repent of our sins. If we expect Yahuah to forgive us, He expects us to forgive one another. I have heard testimonies of friendships ending over some petty nonsense, that had nothing to do with abuse or mistreatment, but rather only a misunderstanding. The only offense most times is that their feelings were hurt. Think about how often we hurt the feelings of the Father, but he still cleanses us and gives us another chance to get it right. And once forgiveness has been granted, don’t bring up the offense any longer, this is what a true friend would do.
It is no secret that we are supposed to strive to be like our big brother Yahusha. A lot of times we are done with people without even giving them a chance to get it right. Sometimes friendships are ended, and the other party has not even mentioned why they are no longer friends or had the nerve to let the other person know that they are done with them, and that person is left feeling abandoned by a person they thought were a true friend.
When thinking about friendships in the Scriptures, we are reminded of the relationship of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi when she went to seek the Adonai of Yahudah (Judah) and felt the need to dwell with them after the tragedy of losing her husband and two sons, it was her desire to return to Jerusalem. Because of the relationship she had with her daughter-in-law Ruth, Ruth decided to cling to Naomi, instead of going back to her native land and living her own life. This showed true dedication as a friend to go where her friend went and to follow after the Elohim that she desired to follow.
Friendships mean to “cling,” and in Hebrew this means “to cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, or to catch. This is what a true friendship looks like, we cling to those we love and consider friends, regardless. We do regular check-ins on them, just to be sure they don’t need anything. We celebrate milestones together, and remind each other in positive affirmations for one another. A friendship is never one-sided. If you have a friend you cannot rely on to be there when you need them, it is not a true friendship at all. If you only hear from that person only when they need something, then that is not a true friend. If you have a friend that only is concerned with what’s going on in their life, then this is not a true friend.
There is a passage of scripture that I love in Matthew 12:48-50 when Yahusha was teaching the masses, and his mother and brother came seeking to speak to him among the crowd. It says that one of the disciples brought to Yahusha’s attention that they wanted to speak to him, and identified them as his mother and brother. Yahusha answered and said who is my mother, and who is my brother? And with the disciples hearing his response, I can only imagine they were bewildered and said nothing. Yahusha answered and said while stretching forth his hand towards his disciples, “behold my mother and my brethren.” This taught us a lesson about who we call friends or even relatives in this passage of scriptures. Therefore, we now know that we can also apply this same scripture when it comes to determining who we will call friends or relatives.
